Kiasu Gorillas and Monkeys on Your Back
"From this day onward, I want to excel," the boy pledged to his mother. Tears almost streamed out from his mother's eyes.
Awaiting the results of any examination can be frightfully trying. All of us have gone through the tension, the trepidation and anxiety pangs. It is not something new.
The boy could not sleep. The UPSR result was due to be released tomorrow morning at 10 am (16 November 2006). He was worried stiff as every one would expect him to bring home a suite of 7 As. Every parent is knee-deep in this kiasu game; mentally pitting their children against one another. His parents had provided him all the tuition he needed. Tirelessly, his mother had ferried him to the tutors without complaining. He had gone through every revision book in the market. The moment of truth was about to arrive. He must deliver. Will he get his dream come true?
Such is the immense pressure being placed upon the shoulders on a 12 year-old. As fate would have it, disappointingly he brought home only 4 As and 3 Bs. The young boy's dream was shattered. He had failed to break the family record set by his sister who brought home the joy of 7 As many years ago.
Just like this boy, my family was also caught up in this kiasu game. Relatives soon phoned in to inform that B has got 7 As and Y, 5 As. As usual, my son who secured only a meagre 3 As for his UPSR in 2004 took the resurrected brunt of ridicule. Family members dug up the ghost of yesterday to promptly remind him that he scored the lowest number of A s in his UPSR as compared to his sibling and all his cousins. As such, he was advised to buck up for his PMR next year.
As parents, why are we so competitive? Why do we subject our children to this punishment by raising the bar that high so early at their most formidable tender age? Why are we transforming them into exam freaks? Is the string of As that mandatory at the UPSR level? Isn't there more to life than hitting the books?
You can be excused if you want your children to do better at SPM or at tertiary examinations because then these As will count in securing scholarships, in getting places in reputable universities or in procuring good jobs.
As parents, we must also be realistic. There is so much to life than to confine our children to just study, study and study. In this globalised world, we must aim for a better outlook in life for our children; a more balanced life for them. Yes, they should be diligent and pay attention to school work and in doing their homework. Tuition is not a must. It should only be provided after you have personally done an audit on their school performance.
Our children are the leaders of tomorrow. As such, they must be provided with the preconditions, building blocks and opportunities to develop their leadership capacity which encompasses good social-communicative skills. Furthermore, they must be grounded firmly with good universal values - social, religious and cultural. In short, they must become more rounded.
A well-rounded personality is a boon at interviews and in securing scholarships and better paying jobs. In life, a good personality certainly can help you to get a good life partner and accelerate social mobility.
As for the boy who has pledged to excel because of his setback in UPSR, I salute him because he has matured so early in life. He knows what is important. Forget about the past. There is nothing you can do about it. The challenge is in the present and the future.
Setbacks and failures are like monkeys that cling to your back and slow you down. These monkeys disturbs you and constantly reminds you of your past failure. They can contribute nothing positive. They are demotivators. Get rid of them!
Taking the monkey off his back is surely the right step for the boy. Shrug them off, my good lad and move forward....
My best wishes to all his endeavours.
Quote of the Day:
“A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.”Anonymous
Heartsong-Heartstrong
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